Blowjob rate in USA at all-time lowWednesday, 26. March 2008 |
What’s really going down in USA is not the stock exchange but the rate of blowjobs! The Trend was heading down in 2005, and it’s even worse now…
WASHINGTON, DC— Due to a recent drop in the sexual-interest rate, Labor Secretary Elaine Chao announced recently that blowjoblessness in America has reached a record high.
According to Labor Department statistics, the overall blowjobless rate swelled to 37.4 percent in July, causing widespread deflation of egos.
"Cutbacks in oral services have left 55 million Americans unsatisfied," Chao said. "Although June saw a promising jump in the age 15-19 demographic, with many teenagers finding summer blowjobs, almost 82 percent of married men are completely blowjobless."
The historically fluid blowjob market reached its climax in 1996, when millions of wives and girlfriends vigorously stimulated the privates sector. But while demand has remained extremely high, supply could not, or would not, keep up.
According to Chao, long-term relationships are responsible for the loss of many of this year’s blowjobs. "Over time, traditional blowjob providers prioritize other services, eventually eliminating those blowjobs that they deem unnecessary," Chao said.
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"Blowjobs are not as plentiful as some Internet sites would lead you to believe," said blowjob-market analyst Tom Cochran. "Overall, it’s an extremely dry market. I myself haven’t had a blowjob in years." "And it’s not from a lack of trying," Cochran added. According to Labor Department statistics, almost half of blowjobless Americans are living below the oral-poverty line, and benefits packages that include sexual intercourse are not enough to sustain them. "For many of these orally disenfranchised men, a hand-to-mouth existence is but a dream," Cochran said Amid growing concerns, Rep. Collin Peterson (D-MN) has proposed a stimulus package that he said will help create over 300,000 new blowjobs by the end of the year.
This photo of a student ("You shalt not suck dick in class!") dramatically demonstrates what could be at least one cause of this longterm drop of the blowjob rate in the U.S. If you know any other reasons, let us know! |
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@ 00:33
Not an issue in my house…
@ 08:44
Georgette….if somebody is an erotic goddess then it’s yourSELF! Yes!!
@ 08:55
oooooh, I like to hold the perfectly “c” cupped shape of the vibrator under his balls at the base…….ooooh yummy he loves it!
@ 08:37
I can see why coconut oil makes sense in the world of blowjobs, but the vibrator…? How exactly must it be used in this context…??
@ 01:33
by the way, blow jobs go great with vibrators and coconut oil!
my favorite!
@ 11:46
I always suspected it, good teamwork-communication leads to an increased rate in the oral area!
Om Shanti!
@ 23:00
if there is a deficiency in the blow job area, it is going to take teamwork to increase the rate,
I don’t know if it’s necessarily just about showing a mans love to his wife, it could be a guy showing intentions, and raising the sexual play, because of something that he wants, its a fun way to communicate, to create pleasure for both parties involved, and thus create more blow jobs. 
@ 20:46
Salve Georgette!
I guess you’re talking about showing the man’s love to his girlfriend/wife….!?
@ 13:12
Be a little nice to your girlfriends and they will blow up the oral rate!
@ 22:21
repeating the same patterns and expecting the same results is einstein’s definition of insanity
how often do you guys perform cunnilingus? give a massage, start a hot bubble bath…….put on an erotic artistic film like ones by andrew blake, ones that are more geared to the sensory of a woman, and how it stimulates her, how many of you talk about it in a real context, find out what you like, what you don’t like? share tips.. and tricks?…..be open and honest, share your likes……what could it hurt, you get to spend more quality time with others
@ 12:25
Every men wants to change this. But how? Maybe I will try putting some Swiss chocolate over my dick. This should do the trick.
Have a nice day!
@ 05:57
oh no!!
we need to change this fox!!!!
@ 12:18
The blowjob rate is at an all time low due to some totally logical, but still very mysterious reason.
Hope this helps.